No matter how adventurous you are in the bedroom, we all get stuck in a sexual rut at some point. Maybe you’ve exhausted your sexual bucket list or the creative juices just aren’t flowing! Fear not sexual adventurer, we have host of sizzling ideas for how to spice up your sex life!
From treating yourselves to a brand spanking new couples sex toy to exploring beginners BDSM and beyond, we got something to excite all sexual tastes!
Sexual novelty is a great way to spark arousal and desire, so grab your partner or partners and get ready for some fun!
16 Ways to Spice Up You Sex Life
1. Give a sensual massage
You don’t have to be a pro masseuse to give an amazing sexy massage! As well as being a great way to release stress and tension, massage can really help you connect physically and emotionally.
Not to mention all that touching will get some serious sparks flying!
Set aside some time to go all out with a sexy massage. Dim the lights, turn your bedroom into a relaxing haven and grab some delicious smelling massage oil or a massage candle and work those muscles!
Want to make it a tantric massage? Take an erotic massage course and give your partner a sensual massage to remember.
2. Tie each other up (or down)!
Restraint play is a really common fantasy and an exciting way to the power dynamics of domination and submission. Plus, the trust required can really strengthen your connection!
Once you’ve got your partner tied up, you are in complete control of their pleasure. Take the time to slowly tease their whole body before giving them what they really want!
For a beginner-friendly option, you can grab a pair of silicone handcuffs, or for something a little more extreme, tie your beau to the bed with an under bed restraint system!
For more information on how to use restraints, Beducated have a great intro to body bondage as well as a more advanced course on Shibari and you get access to both courses and all of their course — all 100+ hours of them!
3. Plan a Sexual Surprise
Everyone loves a sexy surprise! Light some candles, get dressed up in something sexy and give your partner a sexy greeting as they come in the door!
Send a sexy text ahead of time to check they are in the mood and give them plenty of time to get hot and bothered thinking about what’s to come!
Maybe this is a good time to try out a new couples vibrator or sex toy kit!
4. Play a spicy sex game
Leave your sexy fate up to the roll of the dice with a sexy game. They fun and flirty and great for breaking out of the same old routines!
Plus, a bit of competition is great for getting the temperatures rising!
And, whether you prefer a board game, like Monogamy, some sex dice, or cards, there are plenty of great options to choose from!
5. Get creative with sex positions
Sure it’s good to have your go-to positions that get you both of but variety is the spice of life and spice is exactly what we are looking for!
Trying new positions lets you see each others bodies in new ways and explore new angles of penetration and pleasure.
Explore gravity defying sex with a sex swing. Or, you can try a sex pillow for some added support and deeper, more satisfying sex.
In need of more inspiration? Beducated’s course on sex positions has plenty of spicy position ideas! Plus you get instructions on exactly how to do them and tips to make them even better!
6. Brush up on your oral technique!
Spice up your sex life by making oral sex the main event and wow your partner with your tongue skills in the process!
Let your partner lie back and enjoy the best oral sex of their lives while you work your magic!
Most of us have a few go to penis pleasing techniques. Surprise your partner and drive them wild by adding some new and exciting blowjob moves to your repertoire! BadGirlsBible’s Blowjob Bible is chock full of easy to learn techniques that will drive them wild!
And if you are pleasuring a pussy, master the art of cunnilingus with Beducated’s course, which delves for truly mind-blowing oral!
Want to take it to the next level? They’ve also got a whole course dedicated to face sitting! If you haven’t tried it before, wow you are in for a treat!
7. Get handsy
Hand stuff doesn’t get the credit or attention it deserves, in my humble opinion. But when done right, a good handjob or fingering session can be incredibly exciting.
Plus, it’s great for some discreet fun outside the house!
Unfortunately, this is a skill that many learn early on and don’t take the time to improve.
But all isn’t lost! Master the art of great handjobs with Beducated or discover a whopping 36 research-backed techniques for pleasuring a vulva with OMGYES, and you too will fall back in love with hand stuff!
8. Explore your fantasies
Talking about your fantasies can feel intimidating at first, but once you do, you open up a whole world of unexplored pleasure!
Even just sharing your fantasies can be a great way to add a little spice to your sex life! It’s incredibly intimate and erotic!
Maybe you love the idea alien role play with a fantasy dildo or the thought of your partner controlling your remote control vibrator gives you tingles of excitement!
If the thought of sharing your fantasies excites you but you don’t know how to start the conversation, taking a course on fantasy exploration can help you figure out what you actually want and how to talk to your partner about it!
9. Give squirting a go!
If you’ve ever wondered if you could squirt, now’s the time to give it a go. At best you unlock a new sexy skill, at worst you have a really great time trying!
For the squirter it can feel like a really incredible release, plus your partner will love learning new ways to pleasure you! So whether you are a vulva owner or the partner of one, there’s plenty of fun to be had!
Everyone needs something a little different to get them there, so it’s often a case of trial and error, albeit a very sexy trial and error!
However rather than stabbing around in the dark (FYI — that’s not a great technique), check out School of Squirt’s Squirting Triggers 2.0 course for tried and tested techniques to try! Read Edwina’s review for more info!
10. Explore threesomes and group sex
Dr Justin Lehmiller asked 4,175 Americans about their sexual fantasies and sex with multiple partners came out on top!
There are plenty of ways to fulfil this fantasy and you don’t even need to involve any extra people, unless you want to, of course!
Sex dolls or sex doll torsos offer a great alternative to involving other people!
11. Turn up the heat with some temperature play
Trail an ice cube over your their nips or massage their sweet spots with a warm metal dildo.
Or, take a course in wax play and watch as your partner squirms with pleasure as hot wax drips down their skin!
Temperature play ignites the senses and engages the mind in intense anticipation!
Use cold for shivers and tingles of excitement and heat for a sensual strokes — even better alternate between the two!
12. Play with power
Release your inner Dom or give into total submission with some power play!
Exploring domination and submissions allows you to explore new power dynamics in your relationship that can bring quite a thrill into the bathroom.
Not sure how to unlock your inner dominatrix or want some guidance on how to explore approach this new dynamic with your partner? Beducated’s Domination and Submission course takes you through everything you need to know!
13. Get kinky with some impact play
Does the thought of a little spanking get you excited? Not only does impact play ignite the erogenous zone of the mind, but the increased blood flow brings enhanced sensitivity!
Impact play can be soft or serious depending on what you desire! And, there are plenty of impact play tools to choose from — floggers, whips or paddles!
Follow your thwacks with licks and kisses for the perfect combination of sweet and spicy!
Check out our how to guide for getting started with whips and floggers or take a course dedicated to erotic spanking so you can go forth and spank with confidence!
14. Spice up your sex life with some new sex toys
Sex toys are a great way to spice your sex life as they let you explore completely new sensations and ways of pleasuring each other! Even just shopping together can be a sexy bonding experience.
Have a sexy night in and head to Lovehoney or SheVibe to peruse the huge selection of pleasure products on offer!
Some of my favorite couples toys include wand vibrators, c-shaped vibrators, strap-ons, and remote control sex toys!
15. Play the long game with foreplay
Give yourself plenty of time to get aroused and enjoy the sweet tease of long drawn out foreplay!
Foreplay should start long before you are ready to get it on and isn’t only about the physical stuff!
Use the power of psychological arousal to get each other in the mood and ready for fun. Think secret touches, racy texts, and sexy compliments.
Planning a date night? Spend the whole day teasing each other and by the evening, you won’t be able to keep your hands off each other!
Brush up on your foreplay skills with Beducated’s intimate touch course that guides through sensual touch techniques to please your partner’s hot spots!
16. Find Hidden Treasure With Pleasure Mapping
No, you don’t need to dress a pirate, but if you want to, I’m not judging! Pleasure mapping involves exploring each others bodies with different sensations to unlock new sweets spots.
As well as being an incredibly sensual experience, you’ll discover all the things that really get each other going.
Beducated’s pleasure mapping course takes you step by step through how to pleasure map with instructions for penis owners and vulva owner.
Not only that, they have bonus material including a pleasure mapping worksheet! Grab your pencil case and feather tickler — we’re going back to school!
What are the courses in this post and, how can they help spice up your sex life?
You might have noticed I’ve recommended some pretty fabulous courses throughout the post but I thought I’d take a minute to explain how each one works, who they are suited to, and what you can learn from them!
Having great sex isn’t just a given, it takes practice and education. And, let’s face it, the sex education most of us got at school barely touched on pleasure and how to have sex that everyone involved enjoys!
Lucky for us, sex experts saw this gap in knowledge and have created some amazing courses to help you start having the best sex of your life!
Here’s a quick run down of three courses we love!
Beducated
Beducated has over 100 hours of video courses covering everything from vanilla to kinky, as well as sexuality, sexual health, communication and consent, and self pleasure!
Each course is made up of easy to follow, tastefully made videos that come with activities for you to try at home. This is a really amazing course for both people in relationships and single people!
The course comes as a subscription, starting at $16.75 for access to all of their courses any time you want! Right now they have a Christmas offer for a whopping 40% off (correct as of 15/12/2022)! What an amazing Christmas present to yourself or for your relationship!
I reviewed some of Beducated’s courses and was really impressed!
OMGYES
OMGYES are revolutionising female pleasure with their research and education platform. Discover 36 techniques for increasing pleasure in solo and partnered play as well as information on how to communicate your sexual desires and how to incorporate sex toys!
I love that their videos feature different women talking openly about pleasure and you can see live, but very tasteful, demonstrations of each technique, so you can easily replicate it at home!
They even have a realistic vulva for you to practice the new techniques online!
BadGirlsBible Blowjob Bible Course
BadGirlsBible have dedicated a whole course to giving blowjobs that will blow their mind!
The Blowjob Bible teaches you advanced oral sex techniques for intense pleasure as well tips and tricks to make blowjobs better for both partners!
The one off purchase also gives you access to $582 worth of other courses, including Deep Throat the Easy Way and Frisky Foreplay, amongst others!
School of Squirt — Squirting Triggers 2.0
If you’ve ever wanted to explore squirting, this course from School of Squirt is packed full of techniques to try!
The course comes with a 90-day money back guarantee, and even if you don’t squirt, you certainly learn how to spice up your sex life and unlock new levels of pleasure!
Plus when you purchase the Squirting Triggers 2.0, you also get access to four other courses worth $511 for free, including Unlocking Her Wild Side, Erotic Massage Mastery, Truly Loving Orgasms, and The Female Erogenous Blueprint!
There are some great tips and techniques in this course but the misogynistic language and lack of discussion about consent lets it down in places so that’s something to keep in mind! It also uses very gendered language and is very heteronormative.
