The 4 Best Quiet Fuck Machines for Covert Climaxes

profile image   Rain Egan
Many people love a good sex machine, but sometimes the volume of this toy can be a bit off-putting. Luckily there are quiet fuck machine options out there! These toys are discreet, yet super pleasurable. What we want to do is help you make a well-informed decision as to what type of quiet fuck machine is the one for you. Want more manual stimulation? We have something for that. Looking for automatic fun? We got your back! But we want to offer more than that! We have hints, tips, and pointers that really will help you get the most out of your quiet fuck machine. We even point you in the right direction if you decide to make a purchase! This really is your one-stop place for all your quiet fuck machine needs!
1 Test winner

Hismith Premium Sex Machine, Love Machine With Dildo

 Hismith Premium Sex Machine

  • Don't want people to hear you play
  • Are interested in G/P-Spot stimulation
  • Want a toy for long-distance play
  • Want to up your dildo game

Hismith Premium Sex Machine

  • Are on a budget
  • Want a heavier machine
  • Have limited storage space

This Hismith Premium Sex Machine is an ultra-quiet fuck machine with thrust power usually reserved for machines twice the price. The app-controlled machine connects to the bespoke app for tons of play options. Browse patterns made by the community, upload your own, or even send your Hismith link to someone else and let them control! If you don’t fancy the app, manual adjustment is easy and accessible.

  • Versatile controls
  • Portable storage bag
  • Whisper-quiet
  • Easily adjustable

  • Machine is quite light
  • Difficult to position on bed
  • Included dildo is quite rigid
Hismith Premium Sex Machine
Insertable length6 inches
Diameter1.6 inches
Weight25 lbs
Thrust Modes0-240 strokes per minute, custom patterns
Remote ControlsApp or wired
AdjustableYes
Storage Bag IncludedWith app-controlled

This easy-to-assemble, quiet fuck machine from Hismith is great for beginners. If you’re more handsy than handy, you can think of the assembly difficulty as IKEA-level or less. The thrust power of this toy is phenomenal, and there are many ways to enjoy. Many users report that the machine is too light for heavy-duty toys, so you may want to consider other options if you plan to customize your machine with your own dildos.

2 Rocker

Cloud 9 F-Slider Ride-On Sex Chair

 Cloud 9 Ride-On Sex Chair

  • Prefer a natural-feeling thrust
  • Enjoy deep penetration
  • Want a quiet machine
  • Enjoy chair sex

Cloud 9 Ride-On Sex Chair

  • Are on a budget
  • Want a consistent, electronically powered thrust
  • Don't have your own dildo to attach

The Cloud 9 F-Slider is an innovatively designed sex machine controlled by your own thrusts. This unique sex chair comes fully equipped with a silicone seven-inch dildo that you can easily swap it out for your favourite toy with the universal dildo adapter. The quiet fuck machine is a heavy, solidly built toy made of high-quality materials, and comes with a cover for discreet storage.

  • Natural rocking sensation
  • Sturdy construction
  • Cover for discreet storage
  • Whisper-quiet

  • Difficult to set up
  • Heavy to move
  • Difficult to use with a partner
Cloud 9 Ride-On Sex Chair
Insertable length7 (included) inches
Weight22 lbs
Length18 inches
Width22 inches
MaterialsSilicone, Vinyl
Storage Bag IncludedYes
WaterproofYes
AdjustableYes

The Cloud 9 F-Slider Ride-On Sex Chair is a hefty investment at $949.99. In this case, however, price comes with quality. If you’re not a fan of realistic textures when it comes to dildos, you may want to switch out for your own, but this is a simple task that gives you tons of options for play. Plus, if it’s a quiet sex machine you’re after; this one is as quiet as you are thanks to the lack of electronic thrusting.

3 Mini

Fantasy For Her Rechargeable Remote Control Sex Machine

  Fantasy For Her Remote Control Sex Machine

  • Don't have the space for large machine
  • Are on a budget
  • Want to use a machine with a partner
  • Are a beginner to thrusting machines

Fantasy For Her Remote Control Sex Machine

  • Want to thrust your own toys
  • Have experience with thrusting machines
  • Want something super quiet

This portable thrusting machine from Fantasy For Her is a handheld alternative to bigger, harder to store machines that boasts impressive thrusting power for it’s size. The super-soft silicone dildo is gently curved for g-spot stimulation and ribbed for added pleasure. Plus, the toy has a warming function (up to 40F) to simulate a lifelike feel. If you’re looking for something handheld to use with a partner, look no further!

  • Handheld
  • Quality material
  • Small for discreet storage
  • Powerful thrusting

  • Suction cup doesn't work
  • Can get quite loud
  • Limited speed settings
  • Bulky dildo
Fantasy For Her Remote Control Sex Machine
Insertable length6 inches
Length13.5 inches
Diameter1.6 inches
RechargeableYes
MaterialsSilicone
WaterproofSubmersible
AllergiesPhthalate-Free

As it stands, there aren’t too many of these portable thrusting machines on the market. If you’re interested in a super quiet fuck machine, oddly enough, you may have to look for something bigger (or invest in some soundproofing). While it’s solidly built with safe materials, the Fantasy for Her Rechargeable Remote Control Sex Machine is somewhat of a letdown when it comes to the suction cup and variety of thrusting speeds.

4 App

APP Controlled Hismith Pro Traveler 2.0, Discreet Portable Sex Machine With Body-Safe KlicLok System Dildo

 Hismith Pro Traveler 2.0

  • Are an avid traveller
  • Value discreet, quiet play
  • Want a powerful thrust
  • Are looking for easy storage

Hismith Pro Traveler 2.0

  • Want something fully waterproof
  • Don't have your own dildos to attach
  • Find a short cord annoying

This portable, quiet fuck machine from Hismith is an updated version of the Pro Traveller that adds app connectivity to the mix. Great for long distance play! The machine comes with a six-inch silicone dildo that can be swapped out for any compatible toy/attachment using the Kliclock connector, so you can experiment with different lengths and sensations for mind-blowing orgasms no matter your play style.

  • Powerful thrust
  • Easy setup
  • Strong suction cup
  • Versatile attachment options

  • Short power cord
  • Included toy has strong chemical smell
Hismith Pro Traveler 2.0
Insertable length6.8 (included attachment) inches
Diameter1.38 (included attachment) inches
Remote ControlsApp and Remote Controlled
WaterproofSplashproof
AllergiesPthalate-Free
Storage Bag IncludedYes

The Hismith Pro Traveller 2.0 does everything it promises and more. The suction cup is strong and secure, the thrusting power is intense, and the angle of insertion is fully adjustable. If you fancy some alone time, the toy is easy to control with the included remote. This toy is also perfect for those couples in long-distance relationships, as it can be controlled from anywhere in the world with the app. And hey, if you lose the remote, you’ve always got your phone!

Still too loud?

Not satisfied with the sound of these quiet fuck machines? Got some especially nosy housemates, parents, or kids? Try these tools, or check out our round-up of adjustable toy mounts!

BonBon Sex Toy Mount

BonBon Sex Toy Mount - Still too loud?
This ergonomically designed sex toy mount is ideal for smaller, portable thrusting machines. If you’re unsure, you can always contact Liberators customer service to make sure your toy will fit in the base. For more information, be sure to check out this YouTube review!

Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 6 Inch

 Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 6 Inch  - Still too loud?
This is a great piece of basic kit for your collection. It’s curved for g-spot pleasure, has a flared base for anal, and the silicone is fully body-safe. The LoveHoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo is tried, tested, and true – you should have no problem using this solo or with your machine.

Keon by Kiiroo Interactive Male Masturbator Combo Set

Keon by Kiiroo Interactive Male Masturbator Combo Set  - Still too loud?
The Keon by Kiiroo is a quiet fuck machine on another level. This interactive toy connects to your VR headset (see how to here) for endless, handsfree possibilities. You can either manually control the buttons on the toy, or sync the toy to video content on a website for a more natural experience.

Our top fuck machine pick

Sometimes, the classics are the best.

The Cowgirl Premium Remote and App Controlled Riding Sex Machine

The Cowgirl Premium Remote and App Controlled Riding Sex Machine  - Our top fuck machine pick
While this is a pricey piece of kit, you get what you pay for. The Cowgirl Premium is remote and app-controlled, meaning you can use this for short or long-distance play. It’s made out of a luxurious material has, a versatile 360° swivel rotation, multiple modes of vibration and 2 silken silicone attachments. Word of warning – the toy can get quite loud!

How to use a quiet fuck machine

No matter how you play, remember: always, always, always use lube.

Solo

Solo

Solo play is what these machines do best, being designed to simulate traditional penetration. Use machines like this to treat yourself to a truly decadent solo session, no matter how you play!

Long-Distance

Long-Distance

With an app-controlled machine, the long-distance possibilities are endless. Whether you’re quarantining in the same city  and miss your partner, or oceans away, machines like this offer a simple solution to isolation blues.

G-Spot

G-Spot

Many sex machines are specifically designed to make g-spot stimulation easier, with ergonomic designs supporting more comfortable positions than standard penetration! Pair with a slightly curved dildo to make sure you hit just the right spot.

How to clean your quiet fuck machine

It is so important to clean your sex machine before and after use, to avoid bacteria infiltrating your vagina, anus, or mouth. To clean, you'll need: warm water, sex toy cleaner/antibacterial soap, and a clean, dry towel. As you'll have the most interaction with the attachments, make sure to follow this guide to ensure the safest play. If your dildo is made from a non-porous material (which is most common), it won't absorb bacteria easily, however you still need to thoroughly clean it to ensure you avoid any nasty bacteria entering your system! Non-porous materials include: silicone, borosilicate glass, Lucite, stainless steel etc. Porous materials include: jelly, PVC, vinyl, rubber etc. For porous materials, bacteria can build up over time in the pores of the toy, which means you should take extra care when cleaning, and ensure the toy is bone dry before storing. When your toys are clean and thoroughly dry, you should store them safely; find a place where you can store your toy(s) with plenty of room for others, and where they will be kept away from anything like dust or wetness—this will only cause bacteria to develop! As for the machine itself, you should be safe washing it down with a warm, damp towel, antibacterial spray, and drying it off to avoid staining and bacteria build up.

FAQ

Typically! As long as the toy you're using has a flared base (or you're 100% certain it's secured on the machine), you should be safe to use your quiet fuck machine for anal play.

Usually, yes! Make sure to check the product description for something like a 'universal dildo adapter' or any sort of connector, this will typically indicate that the dildo is detachable.

There are many ways to include your partner! You could have them control the toy via app link, hand them the remote, or get more physical and have them stimulate you in other ways while you ride!

Many toys will have a decibel count in the product description, but if you're really unsure, it's worth checking reviews on the website, round ups like this, or other reviews from product testers around the web. A decibel count of 50db or less is recommended for a quiet fuck machine!

A sex machine is typically going to be delivered disassembled for easy shipment, unless it specifies otherwise on the website. It'll always come with instructions for assembly, and if you're having trouble, there are many guides out there online! Most sex toy websites also offer discreet shipping, so you don't have to worry about nosy neighbors.

What is a quiet fuck machine?

A quiet fuck machine is a sex machine that offers powerful, automatic thrusting at low volume. Ideal for those that want discreet, powerful play, quiet fuck machines ensure you're the loudest noise in the room! Ideal for both men and women, a thrusting sex machine does the work for you, which means you can sit back and relax. Dildo fuck machines will thrust, vibrating, and rotate. These machines have been designed to simulate intercourse and penetrate at your desired speed.

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