ZALO Flora Smart Vibrating Pad Review
Moira Callahan
Moira Callahan
| : | 26 |
| : | Intermediate |
| : | Female |
| : | Bisexual |
| : | Magic Wand Original |
The ZALO Flora Smart Vibrating Pad is a sleek, multi-humped silicone pad with a dildo that is designed to stimulate the clitoris, vagina, and anus simultaneously. The humps are equipped with eight powerful motors that "mimic thrusting motions," and can be used in the shower. The bottom is designed to be suctioned to the ground, bathtub, wall, or any other surface you would like to ride. It also has the added bonus of being controlled either directly on the pad, or with a free app.
Expectations High, Results… Dry?
I have to admit, I had really high expectations for this grinding toy. I’ve never had a toy like this in my collection, but the prospect seemed really intriguing. On top of that, this might be the most luxurious packaging I have ever received for a toy. The box is matte black with golden detailing which made me feel like I was unveiling an ultra expensive art piece rather than a vibrating clit/vaginal/anus pad. So, after charging up my lavish toy, and fishing out my most expensive and refined lube (KY from CVS, oooooh), I sat my elegant ass on my new toy and felt… not much?High Hopes? Meet Gravity.
Once I had the toy fully charged and ready to go, my first problem happened before the thing was even inside me. Where do I place it? I tried simply putting it flat on my mattress, but I found that this toy needed to be elevated somehow in order for me to sit comfortably. Thus came the endless locations of where I should mount this thing. Pillows, chair, edge of tub, in the tub, against the wall, all were fruitless. The main issue was that you either need to hold the toy down while you ride, or try to suction it to a surface. However, the suction is not very strong, which was disappointing considering that would have helped the functionality considerably. Finally, I tried the couch arm rest and was finally able to actually use the toy as intended. I humped and grinded my way to a very slow, very drawn out, extremely hard-earned orgasm that was just sort of, meh.
The Flora Smart Vibrating Pad is a beautiful looking toy, but it has some key flaws. The biggest being that the vibrations in this thing are not very strong, and every way to control this toy is confusing. The buttons on the pad itself was a "hit it till you get it" situation, and the app is a complete mess. Each motor has 8 different vibrations styles, only one or two I would ever actually use, and trying to change patterns or intensities while trying to orgasm is incredibly distracting. Plus, the dildo on the pad is not very big, either in girth or length, so having it inside you feels like almost nothing.
Overall, I found this toy difficult to use. While turning the toy on/off is easy, learning the controls and the app is a whole other story. The app has no names for any of the modes other than "Mode 1," "Mode 2," etc., so you have to guess which vibration pattern you're hitting by nonsensical, cutesy icons. What vibration mode is two interlocking hearts?? Additionally, you have to reach under yourself to hit the button on the base of the pad which is a bit annoying, and could be a mobility issue for some users.
Overall, the quality of the Flora pad is great. Standard issue silicone, so it feels great to touch and is soft where you need it to be. The vibrations are pretty loud, especially when placed on a flat hard surface like the ground, wall, or tub.
The Flora Smart Vibrating Pad retails for $129, so not a cheap toy, but it's not overly priced, especially given the multiple functions it has. The app is free, and you do get a very nice silk toy bag that is included.
Ultimately, I don't think the Flora pad delivered on its promises. It's a well made toy, but for $129, you really want the vibrations to be intense, the dildo to be big enough, and the suction to be strong.
The packaging is by far, the best part of this toy. I want to display the packaging on my bookshelf, it is that gorgeous. However, if you're going for discreet packaging, it does contain a see through window, so not the best if you're hoping for something innocuous. It has a small picture of what the toy looks like in its entirety on the bottom of the box, and descriptions and directions are printed on the back.
The pad is completely silicone and waterproof, so clean up was very easy. Just some soap and water, or toy cleaner, would work. It does come with a very nice silk toy bag.
| Vibration speeds | 3 |
| Vibration patterns | 5 |
| Length | 5.67 inches |
| Insertable length | 4.7 inches |
| Width | 3.62 inches |
| Diameter | 1.5 inches |
| Materials | Silicone |
| Waterproof | Yes |
| Battery Life | 120 minutes |
| Rechargeable | Yes |
| Charging Time | 120 minutes |
| Remote Controls | No |
| App Controls | Yes, via ZALO app |
| Travel Lock | No |
| Storage Bag Included | Yes |
| Colors Available | Green, Purple, Black, White |
The app for this toy is hilariously, horrifically, bad. There are no names for the modes, so you have to rely on figuring out which icon turns on the consistent vibration, and which icons will just buzz in a random pattern on your clit. Also for no reason that I can think of, you can seemingly program the vibrations to be synced with videos, voice messages, audio clips, drawn images (!?), or just you shaking the phone. I’m not sure how this is even possible, but some user has uploaded 15+ audio clips of the Pants Podcast with Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig from the L Word, so if you’ve ever wanted to masturbate to two actors talking about a lesbian tv show from 2004, you can?
- Waterproof
- Can be controlled from the toy, or a free app
- Soft silicone
- Vibrations are not very strong
- Dildo is not very big
- Suction on the bottom is weak
As a former pillow humper, this toy definitely captured my attention... at first. Three different areas of vibration for the clit, vagina, and anus, and the toy is built to be ridden/grinded against? Sounds great! Yet, the frustrating thing is that it's so close to being a great toy for anyone who enjoys grinding, non-penetrative masturbation, and/or outercourse, but ultimately, this toy missed the mark for me.
