Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe — Test & Review

Look, let's not mince words – this is a pretty ugly toy. Even when the company attempted to overhaul the design a few years back, making it purple and silver instead of bronze, it didn't make much of a difference to its odd steampunk aesthetic. I don't tend to care much about toys' appearance, but if you do, this one might be off-putting. That being said, you flip between the toy's 3 speeds using a ridged slider on the side of its shaft which I find easy to use, even in the heat of the moment, and the slim profile of the toy makes it work well during PIV sex or other acts where space is limited.

Swapping out the toy's various attachments is an easy snap-off/snap-on process. Turning it on is as simple as plugging it in and pushing the slider to an "on" position, and from there, you can use the same slider to change between the toy's 3 speeds. Beyond that, there isn't much to it – so even when I'm bone-tired or intoxicated, I can always operate the Eroscillator just fine. Its ridged handle is also great if you've got lubey hands, or if, like me, you have chronic pain or grip strength issues that make it hard to hold onto smoother toys.

A few times, I've dropped my Eroscillator onto the floor by accident and broken the piece that connects the toy's body to its attachments, which makes it near-impossible to use. The company sent me a replacement for this part, which solves the issue, but I wish this hadn't been necessary. That said, I've used this toy multiple times a week for several years and it's still going strong, so clearly its mechanics are built well. The Eroscillator's attachments are also made of porous materials, which is pretty unacceptable for a toy at its price point.

This is a wildly expensive toy, starting at $249. It does come with multiple attachments, but frankly the only one I ever use is the marshmallow-esque "finger tip" attachment, so it seems absurd to have to pay for all the others too, especially since they're all made of porous materials. That said, no other toy gives me orgasms as intense or reliable, so I have replaced this toy a couple times when mine has broken, and its "cost-per-orgasm" ratio has always seemed fair to me when I think of its price in those terms.

You might not like the Eroscillator's more subtle sensations if you're used to the higher settings on a powerful wand vibe or similar, but I think for most clits it will be plenty strong enough. It only has 3 settings, but they cover a wide range of intensities, and pressing harder causes the oscillations to slow down somewhat, giving you more control over the strength. Being electric, this toy never runs out of juice. It's also probably the quietest electric toy I've ever tried. Occasionally it heats up with prolonged use, but never to a worrying degree.

The toy comes neatly packaged with all 6 of its varied attachments, plus an instruction booklet and a power adapter. The text on the packaging and in the booklet largely seems oriented toward people with minimal masturbation/orgasm experience, and is quite cisgender-centric, but is otherwise unobjectionable. I only wish there was a storage/carrying case included (you'd have to spring for the $469.95 "Eroscillator Gold" combo for that), because it's all too easy to lose attachments without one.

The body of the toy is made of hard plastic, and can be safely washed in the sink (but not submerged) as long as you unplug it first. The attachments are all made of porous materials, including elastomer, TPR, and "nylon filaments," depending on the attachment. While I think they are phthalate-free (as they've never irritated me), their porousness means they can never be fully cleaned, so you'll have to use condoms on them if you want to share them with non-fluid-bonded partners, and should replace them altogether if you ever have a vaginal infection or similar.