Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator — Test & Review
Alice Lainey
Alice Lainey
- Want a small vibrator for travel
- Like your sex toys inconspicuous
- Prefer a streamlined toy design
- Have mobility issues, carpal tunnel, or chronic pain
- Texture sensitivity in the clitoris area
- Want an exciting product or want to try something new
The Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator is a small, strong, and quiet vibrator with a flexible head and three intense speed variations. This is the perfect for someone coming into their own as a sex toy user, but may leave more experienced users sexually frustrated...
Overview
After reading the reviews of The Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator, I was absolutely thrilled to try it out! Small, unassuming, quiet AND powerful? Sign me up. However, as a disabled woman, I often have a difficult time finding and enjoying sex toys, and The Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator did not do much to live up to its stellar reputation for me.My Personal Testing
I have used this toy several ways: with a partner during sex (both when from behind and in several different positions with myself on top), solo while on my back, solo in a lotus-style position, and while standing braced against a wall. The most successful of these positions was definitely when using it solo while sitting up.Strengths and Weaknesses
Ironically, this vibrator’s greatest strength (its demure size), happens to be its greatest weakness. Because the vibrator is so small, it forces any user lying on their back to awkwardly curl their hand down towards their clit in order to achieve maximum friction. This often leads to hand cramping, and anyone with chronic pain, carpal tunnel, or other disorders affecting the wrists, fingers, shoulders, or hands should opt for a larger product unless they intend to always use this vibrator in a lotus-style position. Another major drawback is the ribbed nature of the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator. There is a smooth head for a gentler experience, but given how you have to crane your wrist in order to use it, the most natural position is actually to have the rougher, ribbed sides directly against your clit. However, these are incredibly uncomfortable, almost to the point of pain. They are too harshly constructed, with very sharp edges rather than rounded ones. These also have a tendency to get tangled up in even very tame and short pubic hair, so any ladies on the spectrum from neatly trimmed to 1970’s porn bush should steer clear! The ridges also present a problem in cleaning. The ridges are very small, meaning that any tissue, residue, liquids, hair, blood (I know I’m not the only one using my vibrator to help me orgasm my way through period cramps!) can get left behind if you don’t spend 45 minutes individually running a pin or needle around each ridge in order to properly clean it. How gross, right?In Short
The Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand was not the toy for me. The few orgasms I was able to have with this toy did not outweigh difficulties I had cleaning it and the sometimes painful experience of using it.
The Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator is a compact vibrator with a blunt, ovular head. Connected to a small grip by a flexible arm, the head is also ribbed around the edge, giving users the option of a smooth experience or something slightly rougher. It is available in two color schemes - one white and purple, the other black and grey - however, the black and grey is currently sold out on Lovehoney's main website. The white and purple design is sleek and aesthetically pleasing. Small and discrete enough to fit into checked luggage, a makeup bag, purse or fanny pack (hey, I don't judge!), it appears at first glance perfectly harmless. It could just as easily be a fancy dermal massager for a skincare routine as it could be a sex toy. However, the design may strike some users as sterile — more like a medical device than a sex toy!
The speed control button on the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator is very difficult to use. The plastic coating over the slider moves very well, but the buttons beneath it stick, causing some frustration when you're ready to finally ramp up the speed and topple over the edge. Nothing kills the mood quite like a jamming sex toy, and unfortunately, this piece jams very often.
One thing you can certainly say for the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator: it is both very powerful and very quiet. If I use the device beneath a very slim blanket, for example, it is nearly inaudible, which makes for an inconspicuous experience. Like most products regularly available on LoveHoney's 3 for 2 deals, this does feel like a cheap product. The material on the head stains very easily, the ridges are difficult to thoroughly clean, and as mentioned before, the buttons are inclined to stick - often at the worst possible moment! For the price point and power level, though, it's certainly not the worst choice on the market.
At roughly $25 when not bought as part of LoveHoney's 3-for-2 deal, the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator does feel slightly overpriced for the product you receive. While the vibrations are great, the quiet nature is very handy, and its design is aesthetically pleasing, the quality and drawbacks make this feel like a $15-$18 toy at the absolute most.
The performance is adequate. If you're looking for something that will quickly and quietly get the job done without any bells or whistles, the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator will likely be a fine purchase for you. It's battery-operated, so make sure to have your Triple A's handy when you want to start using it, as the packaging does not include any.
Just like the potentially sterile or boring-looking toy itself, the packaging of the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator is similarly plain. Utilitarian and simple, it does exactly what you need a box to do and holds the product until you're ready to use it. I would love to see LoveHoney invest more into their packaging, but for now, this box does the trick.
This is a very light product, which is a huge plus for transporting it to your next sexual adventure. LoveHoney describes the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator as Latex-Free, Phthalate-Free, and encourages users to engage with this toy with water-based lube. As mentioned, this is a very difficult piece to clean. What proved most frustrating, perhaps, was that it stained incredible quickly and thoroughly. There was a slight incident in my makeup bag, and a little bit of powder was brushed onto the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator. Weeks and many washings later and I have still not been able to get the stain out of the white body. If you buy this, be careful how and where you use it!
| Vibration speeds | 3 |
| Vibration patterns | 1 |
| Length | 4.5 inches |
| Diameter | 1.1 inches |
| Materials | Hard Plastic |
| Waterproof | No |
| Rechargeable | No, Uses 2 AAA Batteries (Not Included) |
| Storage Bag Included | Yes |
| Colors Available | White, Black |
- Compact
- Discreet
- Sleek
- Uncomfortable Ridges
- Poor Build Quality of Buttons
- Difficult to maneuver
I wanted to love the Lovehoney 3 Speed Micro Massage Wand Vibrator. It had several key features I was desperate for in a sex toy. I was able to use it in a few different positions and really get a feel for what this toy could do. The price point cannot be beat, and its small, discrete nature makes it a perfect standard personal massager in theory. Unfortunately, it let me down in several key aspects I look for in a toy - mainly, accessibility, quality, and ease of use. In short: A decent budget option with several significant drawbacks.
