Creature Cocks Swamp Monster Dildo — Test & Review

Aaron Losey   Aaron Losey
May 16, 2024

Aaron Losey

Aaron Losey
: 28
: Intermediate
: Male
: Bisexual
:

  • Are captivated by the unique design
  • Enjoy monster-themed sex toys
  • Are ready for a dildo to get a little rough with you
  • Want something that can reach deeper without being too wide

  • Are too put-off by the eyes
  • Want a smooth experience
  • Aren't interested in monster-oriented toys

The Swamp Monster Dildo from Creature Cocks is a silicone dildo styled to evoke the image of a cryptid lying in wait just under the surface of some remote bog, ready to ambush its victims. It's primarily green and scaly, but ends in a reddish-pink tip that makes it clear that this long freakish appendage is a dick, and the swamp monster is going to thrust it inside you. While the monster itself only exists in the fantasy, the dildo does come with a suction cup at the base, to make the thrusting a bit more convenient from different positions.

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The Elephant in the Room

I should probably talk about the eyes first. When I showed the Swamp Monster Dildo to a friend, the first question was “what are those black things”. They are eyes, according to the official descriptions. I really, really don’t care for the whole “eyes on the ballsack” concept, but at the same time I must respect the brave creative decisions. I do want more adventurous designs like this, even if they don’t always land. Now, whether this is a good thing or a bad thing depends on whether you like the eye concept, but as my friend demonstrated, they don’t look too much like eyes. It’s just a solid black disk, with no real distinct eye features. I am able to completely ignore it, which is great for me. The rest of the design is strong enough that I don’t think it’s a major issue.

The Overall Appearance

Eyes aside, I adore the rest of it. There is clearly a lot of good effort and thought put into making it a creepy, swampy, reptilian dick. Especially underrated is how the thick overlapping plates are chipped, jagged, and worn. It’s a gritty, imperfect kind of design that lends itself to a certain kind of beauty that I don’t see very often, in sex toys or in design in general. Even things like dragon dildos are usually neatly symmetrical and boast refined, regal shapes. This scarce-resource-of-an-aesthetic, of something weathered and gnarled, is the biggest strength of the Swamp Monster Dildo.

The Texture During Use

I underestimated how rough the rough scale pattern was. It doesn’t feel that intimidating to a finger-tip, but it makes a huge difference to softer, more delicate inside-membrane. It leaves me pretty sore after extended use, but the roughness isn’t unpleasant. It’s a quality unto its own, setting it apart from the friendlier surfaces of most dildos. I recommend not using it for very long the first few times. You can use other sex toys during the same play session, and get a sense of how things feel a few hours after using the Swamp Monster. You decide if the Swamp Monster is right to take center stage after that.

Other Observations

It’s important to note that the Swamp Monster Dildo is curved! The curve of the shaft of the dildo is a bit of an advantage over perfectly straight ones. It pushes and prods in ways that straight dildos can’t do as easily. It’s not the most important feature, but it is nice. One disadvantage, however, is that because the design has a bunch of plates all overlapping and ending just past the tip, it can make it much more difficult to insert than it really needs to be. There’s always one really rough spot where the ridges try to stop all movement, and then once you get past that, the rest of the dildo is easy. Finally, to end on another good observation, the Swamp Monster Dildo isn’t nearly as girthy (relative to it’s length) compared to similar fantasy toys. Being able to reach deeper without being so demanding about the width fills a crucial niche, giving it another potential win over competitors. I also recommend reading the official description of this dildo from Creature Cocks here.

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I forgive the eyes. I will completely forgive the eyes if it encourages manufacturers to experiment more. The only points off for design here is having the most difficult section be so close to the tip. That should be reversed, so that you can mediate the intensity yourself by how much of it you take. Having three different scale patterns built into the design gives it a broader appeal; if you like scale patterns at all, then one of these should appeal to you. The overall shape and curve is a solid plus.

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The Creature Cocks Swamp Monster definitely not the hardest dildo to use, but it's not for beginners. All the difficulty comes from those ridges at the tip, again, but it's not really that difficult. Holding it is easy enough, and the strong suction cup means you don't even have to hold it anyway. Even though the base is rather bulky, it didn't actually get in the way all that much.

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The quality is fine. The silicone doesn't quite feel as solid/smooth as the top-quality options. While I appreciate the colored tip, the coloration also makes it's way along the edges of the nearby ridges in a way that looks very unintentional. These are quite minor nitpicks that really don't detract too much from the experience, but they do hold it back from a perfect score.

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There are multiple storefronts for this toy, and some listings are a lot more expensive than others. If you can get it for $65 or less, that is a really good deal for this, undercutting a lot of monster dildos for a very comparable experience. Other asking prices of up to $90 are less competitive. I'd really have to weigh the pros and cons if I had to spend the maximum price on it.

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The Swamp Monster Dildo performs really well. It's flexible, but firm. The suction cup is strong and will stay stuck for hours. It works even if the surface to be suctioned to isn't perfectly smooth. Dildos are simple sex toys, so there isn't much nuance to it. They either perform or don't. This one does.

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The box that the Swamp Monster Dildo comes in is delightful. Don't worry, it does come in an outer, discreet, standard cardboard box. The inner decorative box reminds me of some sort of action figure marketing display. It's ridiculous in a very charming way. Of course, the dildo itself looks like it was well-protected, not that it needed much protecting.

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The Swamp Monster Dildo is made of body-safe, non-porous silicone. It's pretty light, and has a lot of flex to it. It feels pretty smooth, at least the sections of it that are supposed to, and is still rather firm for the flexibility it has. Silicone dildos can easily be cleaned with warm water and unscented liquid soap. Store it in a dry place, and spaced apart from any other silicone toys. Do not use any silicone-based lubes; water-based ones are the most common type of lubricant for silicone toys.

Length9.4 inches
Insertable length7 inches
Diameter2 inches
FlexibilityHigh
MaterialsSilicone, Glass
WaterproofYes
Storage Bag IncludedNo
Colors AvailableGreen

Creature Cocks Swamp Monster Dildo -

  • Great visual appeal
  • Strong suction cup
  • Good curve and length
  • Can be found for a good price
  • Rare gnarled aesthetic

  • The eyes will mean this is not for everyone
  • Rough texture can get painful
  • Not the easiest insertion

You don't need to be afraid of this swamp monster; he just wants to have a little fun! There are a handful of strengths and drawbacks compared to other fantasy dildos, so while I can't endorse it to everyone unconditionally, it's definitely worth considering. I appreciate it myself, and if it catches your eye, there's a good chance you will too. The Creature Cocks Swamp Monster Dildo is competently designed and made, and I like the way the people behind it think.