Sexual, vaginal size play with super-sized dildos; why are you obsessed, why would you or she want it and how do you talk about it with your partner?
Are you normal if you fantasize about using a large dildo on your partner? The answer is, yes, absolutely, you are normal. Watching your wife or girlfriend’s vagina stretch is a huge turn-on for many men. Maybe they are fascinated because they don’t have a vagina of their own or they are in awe of its magical, stretchiness.
Either way, the absolute control you have over her full-vagina bliss, as well as the way the vagina snaps right back into place like a top-of-the-line Bungy cord, is arousing and exciting for many men – and women.
And, thanks to one of our readers – and his question pertaining to using a plethora of toys on his wife as well as his desire to try a very large dildo on her – this post was born. So, let’s dive into using a large dildo on your partner so I can answer B’s question as well as present you with tips and information you can use.
I Want to Use a Large Dildo on My Partner, Is That Normal?
As mentioned above, wanting to use a large dildo on your partner is a normal thing. You’re not a freak, there’s no need to label yourself an emerging BDSM leather daddy and there’s absolutely no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
To the contrary, just a quick online search will lead you to plenty of men and women talking about it as well as a treasure trove of jumbo-sized sex toys to fill that growing niche’ – and her waiting vagina.
Further, my own experience with this little obsession came from my ex, which led me to do research on the subject of vagina stretching.
Check out my companion article and product guide “Using a Large Dildo on Her: My Large Dildo Lineup” below, and see products from online sex toy retailers as well as amazing, hand-created, silicone, monster dildos you’ll want to display as much as use for fun.
Why Does She Like Large Dildos?
If you happen to be asking yourself, “Why does she like large dildos?” you may also wonder if it’s because you’re not big enough. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are completely, totally in love with your penis and the magic you create with it. However, having the completely full sensation of an extra-large dildo is different and exciting.
Think of it as a Thanksgiving dinner. You have 50 different, delectable foods to choose from and you gorge yourself on 49 of them until you’re ready to explode. Then, you go back for more.
That’s wonderful but not something you want to do at every single meal. And, using a large dildo on her is very much the same…. a special treat.
So, here is why she likes large dildos:
That total and complete vaginal fullness puts pressure on the g-spot and causes all of those nerve endings to be on fire, leading to a gargantuan orgasm that starts internally, then rocks, shakes and quakes its way externally and leaves us an exhausted, wet puddle of spent goo.
If she doesn’t like a large dildo you might want to consider a realistic dildo, a fantasy dildo, a discreet dildo, a vibrating dildo, a glass dildo, or a metal dildo.
Will Large Dildos Stretch Out Her Vagina?
No, large dildos will not stretch out her vagina and here is why: The vagina is meant to stretch and snap back into shape. It’s lined with strong muscles that, when aroused, relax to accommodate even the girthiest penis.
It can also squeeze out a 7-10-pound, 21-inch long, 15-inch shouldered baby without losing a beat.
And if you want a professional opinion, check out what this doc has to say in Psychology Today.
In fact, the only thing that causes the vagina to lose its elasticity is the aging process. That is because we ladies begin to lose all of those young-woman hormones after menopause. But despite that, the vagina of a mature woman is still tight, cozy and comfy and ready for toe-curling sex.
So, no worries, you won’t be able to park a pick-up in there after using a huge dildo.
How to Use a Large Dildo
If you’re ready to take the next step and want to learn how to use a large dildo, keep in mind that you have to prepare yourself. You can’t just go hopping on the first fire hydrant that comes along; it takes a bit of practice and a lot of relaxation. Therefore, follow these steps:
Get Permission
If this is something you want (as the husband, wife or boyfriend, girlfriend) you must get permission. If you go pulling out a rocket that’s 12 inches long and 10 inches around, she’s likely to scream and run away. Talk about your fantasies with her. Tell her your desires. You never know, she may have the same desires as well.
Go Slow
When using a large dildo, you must start slow. For instance, begin with a dildo or vibrator that’s a few inches thicker than what you are used to. From there, you can buy a larger and larger toy until you get to the monster sex toy of your dreams. Again, you are not stretching out your vagina, just training yourself and your vaginal muscles to relax.
Use Tons of Lube
You need to have plenty of good lubricant on hand when using a large dildo. That way, you can avoid small cuts or tears in the vaginal opening and labia and ensure a comfortable ride. However, be sure and use the right lubricant for the job.
Let Her Lead
Finally, when using a large dildo on your partner, you must let her lead. If not, the force can lead to pain and tearing. So, the best thing you can do is stimulate her clitoris, play with her nipples and do things that make her hot while holding the dildo in place. The more excited she gets, the more she will open up and pull the dildo inside.
Most importantly, arousal is key. Be sure she is thoroughly hot, bothered and ready-to-go before you get started. Otherwise, her vaginal muscles will not relax enough to use a large dildo.
Vagina Stretching is a Normal Desire
The desire to use a large dildo and the fascination with vaginal stretching is a completely normal fantasy. So, don’t worry that you’re a twisted fetishist that needs to hang his (or her) head in shame. There are many people out there just like you as well as a sex toy industry that caters to that particular kink.
Got a question like B had? Feel free to email me for advice. I will be happy to counsel you privately. And, you never know if your question may spur my imagination and lead to a blog just like this one.
Kudos to the husband who wants to try new things with his wife. Most guys have a irrational and unreasonable fear of toys. Especially the big ones.
I’m glad this article exists. I commented on penis vs dildo article and I really meant what I said about toys are no where near as good as a real life flesh & blood penis. Toys are just different and are meant to be fun.
As far as toys go I think bigger is better, within reason of course. There is just something so satisfying about being stretched to your limit. Every nerve ending comes alive and is responding from the internal pressure. The SOFT SQUISHY material nudging my cervix. My G-spot under constant assault from the large head. My clit being stimulated when my inner labia is being pulled along the thick girth of the shaft. The explosion when it all finally comes together in an earth shattering orgasm.
Yes every woman should experience the pleasure of a large toy at least once in their life.
That all being said I still enjoy a real life penis regardless of size because the emotional and intimate connection is far more important just pleasure.
Combining toys and a partner now that’s heaven ☺️
I love using really big dildos on my wife, its a real turn on to see her taking and enjoying a huge cock. She was hesitant at first but agreed to try it one time and the rest is history, she absolutely loved it! multiple orgasms and sensations she had never felt before, the felling of her pussy getting filled to the max was something that she totally enjoyed so now I use big dildos on her a lot. I get excited and turned on by how well I can please her with a huge dildo, the way she moves when she really excited, the sounds she makes and her facial expressions are smoke’n hot!!! I love how she feels when its my turn. I see it as a win win for both of us.
I don’t think a women can ever convince me that size doesn’t matter. I have used toys with past partners because that’s what I thought a good partner should do. All it did was make my self esteem plummet. My 5 inches doesn’t make them moan as loud, beg for more, or orgasm as hard. Even when I stimulate them with my mouth they don’t act the same as when they use a big toy.
Guys if you value your relationship it would be better if your wife, GF, or partner doesn’t discover the joys of bigger because it can and will replace you.
Oh Erick, I am so sorry you’ve had a difficult time, truly I am! So I am going to be 100% brutally honest here. I have been with men with penises 3 inches long (erect) to a frightening 12 inches and so thick, my hand wouldn’t reach around and different sizes in between. Size does matter in some aspects, but if a woman is with a man that knows what he’s doing (and I’m not saying you don’t) a women is happy and content with his size (and if she’s not then SHE doesn’t know how to orgasm!) The clitoris is the star here, which extends inside and forms a little spongy area that protects the urethra, called the Graffenburg spot (g-spot). That spot is only a few inches inside the vagina and lies on the front wall. So even a small, erect penis can hit that spot! You can even place your finger inside, palm facing up and move your finger in the “come here” motion and stimulate the g-spot. However, getting her extremely aroused beforehand is important. Just like you need time to get an erection, women need even more time for the blood to engorge everything down there. And once we are aroused to the point we are begging for entry, even less endowed penises feel AMAZING! So, tons of teasing and foreplay! Now, addressing the large toy subject….the vast majority of women enjoy an average penis and sex toy. The extremely large ones, well, that’s a treat and not an everyday desire. The only reason a woman may go nuts over a ridiculously large toy is because it puts pressure on EVERYTHING at the same time….clitoris, g-spot, anus, rectum and all nerve endings down there, making us go over the top. However, the stretching can be painful and cause small tears, pressure on the urethra and leave us with “honeymoon cystitis” which hurts like hell. So, basically, what I am saying is that women love your penises….all of them! It’s just a matter of mastering her body and her knowing what feels good and gets herself off. Without that, it doesn’t matter what size you are! ~Edwina
I’m sure your right. It just feels so humiliating that my partner would need to use something so much bigger than me. I can get her to orgasm with my tongue or rubbing her clit with my fingers. But as soon as I enter her with my penis she just wants it to end as fast as possible so she can use the dildo.
She swears she loves it when I’m inside her but her actions speak louder than her words. She rushes me to orgasm and than wants me to use it on her or have me watch her use it.
It’s humiliating. And makes me feel worthless. I feel like I come second to a piece of silicone.
I’m only a bf when it comes to everything else besides sex.
The dildo is 8 inches long by 6 inches girth
I’m 5 inches long with 3.5 inches girth
So tell me in what world is that suppose to make me feel good
Sorry again
Please, there is no need to apologize! And believe it or not, I understand how you feel. My ex (of 22 years) would masturbate to porn instead of having sex with me. I thought there was something wrong with me and I felt I wasn’t enough for him. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong! It wasn’t me, at all, but him not wanting to go through the motions of foreplay and such before getting to the happy ending. In your case, I believe wholeheartedly that your partner isn’t lying when she says you satisfy her. After all, she DOES want you there when she uses a toy to pleasure herself. It may just be that she isn’t as sensitive (nerve-ending wise) and needs something thicker in order to physically reach climax. Or, maybe she needs more clitoral stimulation. Have you tried using a penis ring with a high contact clitoral stimulator? That will help you have a firmer erection, enable you to last longer AND giving her clitoral stimulation at the same time. Or, there is a product that another reader told me about called the “pleasure sleeve”. It adds 50% more girth to your penis while allowing you to still feel the sexual contact (unlike the majority of penis enhancers). I have a link listed in this article: https://wp.bedbible.com/using-a-large-dildo-on-her-my-large-dildo-lineup/ Either way, you can’t continue to beat yourself up when your penis is perfectly adequate! Your partner is simply less sensitive and needs more stimulation than most. Please, if you ever need to talk further, you can email me at edwina@bedbible.wpengine.com or keep up with the comments – so long as you don’t mind the public nature of it.
Recently I found out my wife was secretly using a 10 inch dildo with a circumference of 7 inches. I’m 5 inches long and 3.75 inches around. I talked to her about it and she was completely embarrassed at first but after an agreement we agreed to use it together during intercorse. I must admit I love the visuals of it and she really loves it but I do notice that right after using it, when I go inside her there is hardly any friction at all. It’s almost as if her vagina stays open and I can tell she can’t feel me because she gets really silent. Is there something I can do to help with this? I don’t want this to ruin things for us because she wants to keep using it.
To be honest, her vagina will stretch to accommodate the larger dildo and it will go back to it’s normal size. However, it’s not going to slam shut like a door. It takes a little bit of time. My suggestion would be to NOT jump right in as soon as you’ve played with this toy. Maybe give her a break, have a cool drink then start over with all the arousal you have pent up after using the toy on her. Make out. Kiss her from head to toe. Have a lot of foreplay. This will allow her vagina to slowly get back to it’s normal size while the both of you enjoy the skin-to-skin contact and get even more aroused. Or, switch things up and you go first! Most of all, be honest with your wife and tell her it feels better to you before using the sex toy and you can tell she enjoys it better too.
There’s nothing more stimulating that watching my wife climax on a huge dildo. Early into our relationship I wanted to spice things up so I had bought a dildo as an experiment to she how she would react to a large toy. One night she was especially horney so I thought it would be a good time to try out the new toy. That night as I was preforming oral sex on her I worked in several fingers to get her pussy ready. As she became more aroused her pussy began to open up so I squirted some lub into her and on the dildo, then I began to rub it against her clit and around her vagina. She reacted by pressing hard against the dildo and moving her hips attempting to take it in while moaning loudly. So I let her have it, slowly sliding the head in and she responded by rocking her hips to accept it, she was really excited by this new sensation and it was showing. She worked more and more of the dildo into her until it was all in. She became super excited and had a massive orgasm followed by several more minutes later. She seemed to be in a continuous climatic state for the next 20 minutes. Afterwards we talked about it how it felt to which she admitted she really enjoyed it so we have made it a regular part of our sex play. That was some years ago and now she’s worked her way up to some really big dildos, 10-12″ inches long and 7-8+ inches of girth depending on her mood and how horney she is. I truly enjoy watching her react to my using a dildo on her by her sounds, motion, and facial expressions, super stimulating to me and I enjoy her hot, wet, used pussy afterwards, such a turn-on. Its a win-win for both of us. I think of the huge dildo as a tool for pleasure that we both enjoy abet in different ways, her its physical and me its cerebral. Remember the brain is the top sex organ.
Mercy, Tom….I need a cigarette and a cold shower after that! Other men can use your experience to try things out with their wife….that is, as long as you’ve discussed it before. Consent is important! <3 Thanks for sharing!