Vaginal Massage Feature Image

Vaginal Massage: A Step-By-Step Guide

Vaginal massage can be beneficial in so many different ways. Massaging the vulva and vagina is a great way to engage in some serious self care and show your precious bits some love and pampering. Vaginal massage can help you relax and connect with yourself and your body intimately.

Rubbing and caressing your vulva and vagina will also increase blood flow to the area, it can heighten your sensitivity, and even help relieve pain. In some cases, vaginal massage can build arousal and lead to orgasm – and sometimes (with the right techniques) it can help work your way up to squirting!

The practice itself can also look very different from person to person, depending on your individual intention with your vagina massage. In this post, we’re going to talk about the what’s and why’s of vaginal massage, and I will bring you on a general step-by-step guide for how to perform a vaginal massage. A guide that will be useful no matter what you’re looking to achieve with your intimate massage.

Table of Contents:

How to Perform a Vaginal Massage

If you’re not really sure how to get started without knowing more about the basics of a vaginal massage, I’d recommend that you skip down to read the next section first: What is a Vaginal Massage?

But if you’re already familiar with the concept, and you’re eager to get into the juicy details, then let’s jump right into the step-by-step guide of how to massage a vagina!

Step 1: Arrange Your Space

There’s some prep work involved with setting up your space for a vaginal massage. You want to feel as comfortable as possible in your space!

Find a private place that you feel comfortable, clean, and safe in. A bedroom, bathroom or bathtub, for example. A lock on the door is a plus for avoiding interruptions!

Make yourself comfortable with some pillows or blankets. Good cushioning can really add to the experience!

Go the extra mile and set the right mood for your vaginal massage:

  • Lighting – dim the lights or light some candles in your space.
  • Music – put on your favorite kind of music that will help soothe and relax your mind and body.
  • Temperature – I would recommend you keep a nice and warm temperature in the room so your body parts will feel comfortable as they are exposed, and your hands won’t feel cold to the touch.
  • Scents – perhaps lighting some incense or an oil diffuser will help put you in a relaxed state and elevate the ambiance in the room.

Have your lube or massage oil ready next to you (I would recommend using 100% coconut oil for a vaginal massage).

Step 2: Prepare Your Mind & Body

Make sure you are mentally prepared for this intimate massage session. Try not to have too many stressors around you that will pull you out of the relaxing state.

Put your phone away (or at least put it on silent)! You can also try to make sure no one will disturb or interrupt you.

Take the time to set an intention with your massage before you begin. What are you trying to achieve with this? Why do you want to do a vaginal massage right now? Use a few moments to get into the right headspace for whatever intention you put forward.

Prepare your body for the vaginal massage as well

  • Make sure your nails are trimmed and your hands are clean.
  • Get into the right position. Use pillows or cushions to support you in a position that feels good for you. I would recommend lying on your back with one pillow under your head and another under your hips. Legs slightly bent and spread comfortably apart (for more support in this position, you can prop some pillows under each leg from the side).
  • Warm up for your vaginal massage with some sensual touching. Run your hands gently along your body, let them graze sensitive parts of your skin, and start massaging your breasts, your lower stomach, and your inner thighs.
  • Breathe into the sensation. A big part of warming up for a vaginal massage is really ensuring physical and mental calmness. Calm your nervous system by taking deep, regualar breaths while you start the sensual touching.

Step 3: External Vaginal Massage Techniques

Once you’ve applied plenty of your coconut oil or your favorite lube on your hand and your vulva, you can begin massaging the vulva itself.

If you are performing a vaginal massage on someone else, or your partner is performing one on you, it’s important to re-establish consent and comfort at this stage. Make sure everyone involved is ready to begin direct vaginal stimulation.

Once you’re ready, you can try out these techniques to externally stimulate and relax the vulva.


Two fingers circling the labia on a fleshlight

With two or more fingers, you can gently graze the outer and inner labia, stroking upwards and downwards in a sort of circling motion. Play around with appyling more or less pressure depending on the receiver’s feedback.

You can also try this method (with your fingers laying more flat) pressing firmly on the mons pubis.


Two fingers pinching the labia on a fleshlight

Lightly pinch your forefinger, middle finger and thumb together around the outer and inner labia on both sides of the vulva. Continue this up and down the labia.

By pinching the labia on both sides together, you’re indirectly stimuating the clitoris and the inner labia.


Fingers tugging the labia of a fleshlight

Gently pinch the tips of your forefinger and thumbs around the outer labia, gently tugging at the skin. Pinch your way along the outer labia inch by inch.

You’ll notice that the skin is actually quite flexible and the sensation of gentle tugging can feel quite pleasant and relaxing to the receiver.


Thumb rolling the clitoris on a fleshlight

You can do this technique with any finger, really, but I find it easiest to do with my thumb. Simply bring your thumb right next to the clitoris, and fimly tilt it over to the opposite side. Repeat from the other side.

You’re essentially rolling your finger over the clitoral hood and indirectly stimulating the clitoris from the side.


Hand cupping the vulva on a masturbator

This is either a great starter technique to begin your vulva massage session or a good way to transition into internal vaginal massage. Simply cup your whole hand against the entirety of the vulva, pressing firmly and comfortably against the body. Hold for a good 10-20 seconds (or more). This technique can help the receiver feel held and safe, and helps them focus on the static pleasure they’re experiencing.

One thing you might want to keep in mind is never to overstimulate the clitoris. A lot of these techniques focus on stimulating the vulva and only indirectly touching the clitoris. This helps create more of a build-up without making the receiver umcomfortable with too much stimulation.

If you are looking for more techniques on more direct clitoral stimulation, we’ve got a blog post with detailed techniques on how to rub her clit!

Sex Toys To Help You With External Vaginal Massage

If you’re wanting to explore different kinds of sensations with your external vaginal massage, adding sex toys to your practice can be a great way to enhance the experience.

Here are some suggestions for vibrators that might assist you in connecting with your pleasure and sensitivity during your vulva massage.

The Dame Pom is a flexible and squishy palm vibrator. It fits snugly in your hand and provides great stimulation during ‘cupping’, for example.
The Dame Fin is a super versatile finger vibrator that allows you to bring vibrations wherever your fingers would usually go.
The Lovense Lush 3 is meant to provide you with powerful internal g-spot stimulation. Then your hands are free to massage your vulva while you get pampered internally.

Step 4: Internal Vaginal Massage Techniques

When you (and everyone involved in the vaginal massage) is ready to begin the part of the massage that focuses on the internal stimulation, I’ve got a few techniques for you to get things started.

Of couse, a vaginal massage does not require any internal stimulation but it can be a great way to access the vaginal muscles and help relieve any tension or pain.

Remember to keep applying plenty of lube or coconut oil for this step


A finger entering the vagina on a fleshlight.

Massage around the vaginal opening and gently enter the canal with one or two fingers.

Try to experiment with how deep you should insert your fingers to create different sensations. Start slow and work your way up.

Start slowly but firmly rotating your finger(s) inside the vaginal canal. Kind of like you’re tracing the vaginal walls around in a circle.

Come Hither

Another way to move your fingers inside the vaginal canal is the famous “come hither”-motion. Insert one or two fingers and move the tips repeatedly towards yourself in a “come hither”-motion.

Try different levels of pressure for this technique. You can also play around with the depth of insertion and the angle at which you’re moving your fingers.

Perineum Pressure

Finger putting pressure on the perineum on a fleshlight.

Massage and pressure on the You can massage the perineum internally and externally. Externally, you can gently rest your thumb on the perineum right under the vaginal opening and slowly apply some firm pressure to the area.

Internally, you use either your thumb or your middle finger to enter 1-2 inches into the vagina and firmly press downwards. Then begin to slide your finger from side to side while pressing downwards, like you are making a u-shape with the movement.

Learn More Techniques from School of Squirt

how to maker her cum with a squirting orgasm

If you’re looking to work your way up to ejaculation or squirting with your vaginal massage, the School of Squirt‘s course “Squirting Triggers 2.0” or “Erotic Massage Mastery” offers some specialized techniques that may help you on your way towards experiencing squirting.

Please note that this course may not be suitable for people want to engage in a more spiritual and personal approach to vaginal massage. These courses offer a very particular approach to squirting that may not be for everyone.

You could also take a look at our blog post here on BedBible with more tips and tricks on how to make a girl squirt.

Sex Toys To Help You With Internal Vaginal Massage

Internal vaginal massage is great for stimulating the internal erogenous zones, like the g-spot and a-spot. Focusing on firm and sensual massage above sexual stimulation on these areas can be a really great way to connect to this part of the body in new ways or help alleviate any tension built up here.

Some might crave deeper and wider internal massage. In that case, I have some suggestions for insertable sex toys that might be able to assist you with that. Most of these dildos are made of super firm and weighted materials that can provide some impressive internal massage and are compatible with kinds of lube or massage oil – and be used to introduce some temperature play into your vaginal massage!

The njoy Pure Wand is a large, curved metal dildo with two different sized bulbs to choose from.
The Le Wand Bow is a smaller alternative for anyone looking for the same firmness and a similar curved design with some added texture in one end.
The Gläs Honey Dripper Dildo is a glass dildo with two bulbed ends in different shapes and sizes. Both offer different internal sensations that target the g-spot and a-spot.

The Heart Rose Quartz Dildo by Chakrubs is a pure polished rose quartz dildo. Perfect for anyone who enjoys the power of crystals, as rose quartz is said to bring loving energy and healing.
Lovehoney Sensual Glass Dildo Beaded Dildo
The Lovehoney Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo is another curved glass dildo with a beaded design to create a textured sensation during internal massage.
The Dame Arc is a silicone g-spot vibrator. It can assist your internal vaginal massage with sensual vibrations. Keep in mind that silicone will only be compatible with a water-based lubricant and should not be used with your regular massage oil.

Step 5: Coming Down From a Vaginal Massage

Spread Out the Energy & Sensation

Graphic explaining how to spread out the energy after coming down from a vaginal massage.

Whether or not you or your partner has reached orgasm from the stimulation in the vaginal massage, this is a good technique to bring the massage to a finish.

Think of all the energy you have just focused on bringing into the vagina in caressing and massaging it. Now you can start bringing that energy out to the rest of the body. Firmly bring your flat palms from the vulva and out towards the stomach, breasts, thighs, and hips. Take your time repeating this. This helps the receiver come slowly down from the experience and adjust to their new state of mind after going through all of those sensations.

Wrap ‘Em Up!

Wrapping up the receiver of a vaginal massage in a towel of blanket for comfort.

Finally, wrap up the physical part of your vaginal massage session by… wrapping up the receiver. Whether you went for a solo session or your partner did the deed, it’s always good to be snugly wrapped in a towel, and maybe a blanket too, while properly coming down from the experience. After being exposed for a while, you might enjoy the warmth and security from being wrapped up while you adjust to reality once again.

Emotional Aftercare

Emotional aftercare is important while coming down from a vaginal massage.

If you’re with a partner, this is a great time to check in with each other verbally and physically. Have some water, snuggle up and talk about your experience with this massage. What did you like? What did you not like? How are you feeling?

If you’re going solo, take the time to check in with yourself. Reflect on the experience and how you felt about it in terms of the intentions you set out before. Hug and hold yourself while taking some deep breaths. Do whatever you need to do to enhance that feeling of safety and comfort!

Step 6: Cleaning Up After a Vaginal Massage

Cleaning Your Body

Clean your body with a warm shower or bath after a vaginal massage.

Your body is definitely going to be super oiled up after a vaginal massage. When you’re done with your aftercare and you like you’ve re-adjusted after the session, you’re ready clean yourself.

Since you’ve had either your own or someone else’s fingers touching your vulva and vagina, you should definitely pee afterwards. Urine is sterile and will flush out any bacteria that could go up your urethra and cause a UTI.

I would recommend taking a nice, warm shower or bath to wash off all the oil or lube and completely cleanse and rejuvenate your body.

Cleaning Your Props and Space

Clean your props and sex toys after a vaginal massage.

You might have soiled some towels or some sex toys along the way. Chuck whatever you can in the washing machine and clean the sex toys with warm water and a mild, unscented soap.

If your sex toys don’t have any electrical components, you can easily sterilize them in boiling water.

What Is a Vaginal Massage?

So, now that we’ve gone through all the instructional parts of it, you might still have some questions about the practice itselfs. Let’s go over some of the basics of a vaginal massage! What is it really and why do people do it?

Anatomy of the vulva, where to finger a woman


As you’ve probably guessed already, a vaginal massage is an intimate massage that specifically targets the external and internal vaginal area. This massage focuses specifically on stimulating the mons pubis (or pubic mound), inner and outer labia, the clitoris, the vaginal opening, the perineum, and also the vaginal canal.

The practice, which is also known as “yoni massage“, actually originates from Tantric philosophies. “Yoni” means ‘womb’ or ‘vagina’ in Sanskrit, and is more directly translated to ‘sacred cave’. Vaginal massage has been practiced for centuries as a spiritual practice. A way of connecting to one of the most divine natural powers of the human body, where life itself is created.

Learn more about Yoni Massage on Beducated

Beducated Sensual Vulva-Massage Course Image

Beducated offers hundreds of courses on different kinds of sexual practices to provide an educational and inclusive platform for anyone looking for informative content on sex and sexual health.

Check out their courses on Yoni Massage and Sensual Vulva Massage to learn more!

Therefore, for some, vaginal massage is a purely spiritual experience and a great way to connect to the power of the body. For others, this type of massage is a way of harnessing that power towards experiencing pleasure. The two experiences are definitely not mutually exclusive!

Although, in more recent practices of vaginal massage, more people are engaging with intimate massage because of the wide array of health benefits that come with it. Since it can relieve pain, alleviate tension, improve sensitivity, and even enhance pleasure, there are many reasons to try massaging your vulva and vagina!


The goal of a vaginal massage depends a lot on who is performing it and in what context. This in turn also depends on why you’re performing a vaginal massage in the first place.

You might want to try out a vaginal massage if you:

  • Struggle with pelvic floor issues or medical conditions that build up tension or pain in your vaginal walls.
  • Experience post partum pain or urine incontinence.
  • Want to improve vaginal or clitoral sensitivity
  • Simply want to relax and enjoy some self-care in your intimate area
  • Feel like reconnecting to your body and its pleasure in a safe space
  • Want to recover from physical or emotional trauma related to your intimate body through vaginal massage


If you’re looking to process intense emotions or sensations through vaginal massage, or specifically looking to relieve pain or incontinence, you might be interested in seeking help from a professional who provides this service.

Keep in mind that a care provider does not require any credentials to provide this service, and you should do your own research and make sure the vaginal massage practitioner you choose is suitable for helping you with your needs.

Other alternative helath care providers, like pelvic health specialists, or sex therapists or sexologists may be able to provide this service or give you a referral.

If you’re fine with exploring this practice privately, then a vaginal massage can easily be done by yourself or a partner. Be sure to communicate clearly about your intentions and your specifics boundaries around this practice beforehand! You can even have your partner read this post before you start, so you’re both on the same page.

Benefits of Vaginal Massage – Pleasure, Pain Relief & Pelvic Floor Health

As I’ve mentioned earlier on in the post, vaginal massages have a lot of benefits! Not only do they feel great, they can help you work through serious physical and mental issues regarding your most sacred body parts.

Naturally, the specific benefits you might experience has a lot to do with your personal intentions and who performs the massage on you. Vaginal massages performed by health professionals may be more effective in relieving pain and improving overall pelvic floor health.

Regardless of how you are massaging your vagina, I’ve got a list of some of the benefits you could be looking forward to.

Benefits of Vaginal Massage:

  • Increased blood flow to the area can heighten sensitivity and improve sexual pleasure
  • Orgasms can become more intense
  • Relief of physical tension in the vaginal canal
  • Relief of emotional tension associated with vaginal touch or penetration
  • As a spiritual practice, it can help you connect with the power of your body
  • Deep relaxation and intimate self-care
  • Relief from painful penetration
  • It can help you reconnect with your post partum vulva and vagina
  • Partnered vaginal massage can help improve intimate connection and communication between partners
  • Vaginal (and perineal) massage on pregnant women will help exercise the strength and flexibility of the perineum. This may minimize the risk of injury and tearing during birth.
  • A great way to explore safe penetration for anyone with pelvic floor issues or medical conditions like vaginismus or vulvodynia
  • A helpful way to manage vaginal atrophy
  • Can be a good therapeutic tool for processing any sexual violence or trauma
  • Might improve symptoms of urinal incontinence
  • Generally promotes a more intimate connection to your own body and your own pleasure.

Go Massage Your Yoni!

The takeaway from a vaginal massage can be a very personal thing. What you benefit from will be directly informed by your intentions behind this practice.

That said, only good things can come from this practice (provided you are performing it safely and consensually). I would highly recommend exploring a vaginal massage either with yourself or your partner!

Massaging your vagina will very likely make a positive contribution to your sexual pleasure, your spiritual embodiment, and your emotional well-being. It also just feels great to pamper your bits!

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