First time strap on users, unite! If you’re unsure about how to start out or you’re just looking for a few helpful tips, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve gathered 7 of the absolute best tips to ease you into your strap on journey.
The Top Tips
Measure your vagina/penis
This is a must for first time strap on use to ensure the strap on is compatible with the receiver’s vagina or around the wearer’s penis (hollow strap on).
Find the perfect harness
For the wearer, the perfect harness is a must, and feeling comfortable and secure will go towards a good time! We’ll go in depth about the pros and cons of different harnesses below.
Get comfortable
As a first time strap on wearer, you might be feeling a little uncomfortable regarding looks; the best thing you can do is to wear the strap on around the house first and get comfortable having it attached to you. Look at yourself in the mirror and get used to seeing yourself looking confident!
Take it slow
No need to rush! For first time strap on wearers, having a shaft between their legs might take some getting used to. Take it as slow as you need and remember that there is no ‘main goal’- just have fun!
Lube!
Lube should be at the forefront of any sexual activity and first time strap on use especially; your toy is not real skin and this means that it will need to be extra lubricated! Hollow strap ons will especially need plenty of lubrication inserted into them before use.
Communication
You should communicate before, during and after sex to ensure that everyone feels comfortable; what went well? What needs to be changed?
Orgasm isn’t everything
Don’t forget that this is a new activity, and it will no doubt take time to understand what you like and don’t like during; the more you do it, the more you’ll know, so be kind to yourself and your partner and don’t expect orgasm straight away- this will only create unnecessary pressure.
How to talk to your partner about first time strap on use
If you’re looking to delve into the world of strap on use, the first thing you need to do is check that your partner wants that too! There is no point in purchasing a harness and dildo without informing your partner- this could cause a rift due to lack of communication about desires and needs.
So, we’ve put together a few helpful talking points for your strap on conversation!
- Make conversation time– set aside some time to bring the topic up, and to chat about your feelings and wants- are you both on the same page?
- What do you want from the experience?– if your partner has agreed that it’s something they’d also like to try, you should talk about what you both want, need, desire, and are worried about regarding the experience- this will help with feeling comfortable, confident, and completely ready.
- Shop together!– now for the fun bit! Research strap ons and harnesses and pick one that suits you both best- if you need help deciding on a beginner strap on, check out our round up of the best starter strap ons; if you need help with sizing, check out our guide on strap on sizes.
First time strap ons (tried and tested!)
First time strap on (dildo)
The Tracey Cox Supersex Kit has everything you need for first time strap on/pegging play.
With an adjustable harness, 2 different sized and textured silicone dildos, a 7 function bullet vibe, and 3 different sized O-rings, you can’t go wrong!
First time strap on (strapless)
WetForHer’s Union is the perfect strapless strap on for beginners.
Super smooth silicone and an ergonomic shape make this double dildo a breeze to use.
First time strap on (hollow)
The Doc Johnson Hollow Strap On Kit is perfect for first timers.
With 3 strap on sizes to choose from, you’re spoiled for choice!
First time strap on (vibrating)
The gorgeously designed vibrating strap on from Fetish Fantasy is perfect for anyone craving the luxury look.
With a 4.5 inch silicone dildo, beginners can feel comfortable and enjoy the ride of one of the best vibrating strap-ons!
Types of strap on
Ok, so with the top tips memorized you’re ready to get your very own strap on? Good choice! There are a few different types to choose from, and they all cater to different needs and desires, for example a strapless strap on probably isn’t the best choice for a beginner as there is no support system such as a harness in place.
For a beginner, a dildo style with a harness is ideal as this leaves room for experimentation and added support; of course, if you’re dead set on trying a strapless strap on, check out our dedicated guides on how to use a strapless strap on, and do strapless strap ons really work?
| Pros | Cons | |
| Dildo | Great for realistic/fantasy aesthetic Can be used solo as well as during partner play Ideal for G/P-spot stimulation | Need a harness and O-ring to wear |
| Strapless | Allows you to be closer to your partner during sex (no harness between you) Pleasure for the wearer and receiver | Wearer needs a vagina to use it Need strong pelvic floor to hold inside |
| Hollow | Great for adding length or for people with erectile struggles Bullet vibrator compatible | Need a compatible harness to wear |
| Vibrating | Extra pleasure Great for teasing and foreplay | Needs to be charged |
Types of harness for first time strap on use
Now onto harnesses! Two types of harness exist and, honestly, they’re both great.
A traditional harness with straps is a great choice for those that want a secure and stable option, and something that can handle those heavy dildos; strap on underwear is super sexy and great for those that want something easy to slip into, and a lighter dildo to play with.
| Pros | Cons | |
| Harness | Secure Aesthetically pleasing Able to hold big strap ons Adjustable Different styles such as thong, double leg, trap etc. | Can be tricky to secure in the moment |
| Strap on underwear | Good for first time strap on use Easy to slip on Comes in different designs Good for small strap ons | Not secure Can easily fall down |
Harness styles
When it comes to the traditional harness there are a few different styles to choose from; this is great since we’re all different and therefore feel comfortable in different styles!
Double leg strap
The double leg strap harness is great for first time strap on use!
The adjustable straps sit on the hips and under the crotch to provide maximum comfort and stability.
We recommend the Temptasia Lovelace!
Thong
The thong style harness brings sexy to a whole new level!
With nothing left to the imagination, you’re in for a wild ride as soon as you slip one of these on.
We recommend the Bare As You Dare!
Double penetration harness
Two is better than one! Or at least it is when it comes to a double penetration strap-ons.
For those with DP fantasies, or for those craving a threesome without the task of finding another person, this type of harness is *chef’s kiss*.
We recommend the Menage a Trois for Two!
Body part harnesses
Designed to be used on various parts of the body, this type of harness screams versatile! Some are designed to be strapped to a thigh while some are for face use- wherever you desire to be ridden!
We recommend the Master Series Strap & Ride!
What is a strap on?
Strap ons are dildos with a flared or suction cup base which can be secured within a harness; you can then use it to penetrate someone.
Made from a variety of different materials in a variety of designs, colors, and sizes, there really is something for everyone; they can simulate a penis for the wearer or they can simply be worn for penetrative pleasure- either way strap ons are fun, sexy, and pleasurable sex toys!
