How to Finger Your Ass…Or A Partner’s

It’s no secret that there’s a lot of untapped pleasure waiting between your cheeks, but getting started with anal play can be a little daunting! I always recommend starting with a finger, but even then it can be a little confusing. And, knowing how to finger your ass properly can be the difference between unlocking a new world of pleasure and locking up shop to anal play for good.

Anal play of all kinds is open to anyone with a butt and some butt play curiosity! The anus has loads of sensitive nerve endings that can feel amazing when stimulated, especially when combined with other forms of stimulation. That being said, anal play isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and you should never feel pressured to do something that you aren’t enthusiastic about trying!

Anal fingering is the perfect introduction to anal play as you are completely in control and using your finger is more intuitive! Then, if you like the sensation, there’s a whole world of anal stimulation to explore, including butt plugs, anal beads, prostate massagers, and more anal dildos than you can shake your butt at!

This post will take you through every step of a safe and oh so satisfying anal experience with a full and detailed anal fingering tutorial, top tips to maximise pleasure, and suggestions for next steps! Here’s what we’ll cover:

Anal Fingering Tutorial

You might be thinking, I don’t need a tutorial on how to put my finger in my butt, but there’s so much more to a pleasurable anal fingering experience! Without the proper warm up steps, it can be less than satisfying and even painful, and that’s the last thing you want! So much of anal play depends on feeling safe, relaxed, and comfortable as this helps your sphincters to relax and reassures your brain that this new type of stimulation is a pleasurable one! So, without further ado, here’s how to finger your ass!

How to prepare for anal fingering

Before you dive in, so to speak, there are some small preparations steps that will help you feel more comfortable on your anal fingering journey.

  • Trim your nail. The skin is this area is very delicate and very sensitive and you really don’t want to scratch it.
  • Wash your hands.
  • If you want to cover your finger, you can use a rubber glove or finger cot.
  • Empty your bowels.
  • It’s not necessary to douche as you won’t reach the area where poop is stored, but you should have a nice warm shower or a bath and give yourself a good wash.

Prepare your space

You want to create a safe, relaxing space that has everything you need so you can focus on how to finger your ass and all the delicious sensations that come with it!

  • Dim the lights and play some chilled music.
  • Put a sex blanket or old towel on the bed, so you aren’t worried about any possible mess.
  • Have some wet wipes nearby.
  • Have your lube of choice on hand. Silicone or water-based are great for anal fingering.

Ignite your arousal

Don’t go straight for the anus — it can give your brain a bit of a shock and cause your muscles and sphincters to tighten, which is the last thing you want. Instead, spend some time working up your arousal to get yourself in the pleasure mindset.

  • Tease your erogenous zones and explore your body with sensual touch.
  • Lightly stimulate your genitals without going all the way
  • Engage your mind by fantasizing, listening to audio erotica, or watching some ethical porn.

Explore an anal massage

You will want to spend a little time getting used to having your anus touched in a sexual way and letting the muscles relax.

  • Start by massaging your butt cheeks and lightly pulling them apart.
  • With a lubed up finger, massage your perineum (taint) and up towards your anus.
  • When you feel ready, used your finger to trace circles around your anus, getting closer to touching it as you feel comfortable.
  • Then you can explore different strokes over and around the anus.

Insert just the tip

When you are ready to start the penetrative part of anal fingering, make sure to add some lubrication to your finger and the outside of your anus. More is definitely more when it comes to anal play! A lube injector is great for getting the lube inside your anus.

Take some long, deep breaths to help you relax. Slowly insert just the tip of your finger by pressing it against your anus and letting it slip inside. It can help to breath out as you do this. Now you can just get used to the sensation of having the tip inside you. If you want you can repeat this process a few times.

Slowly insert more

You might decide that that’s enough for this time and move onto something else, and that is totally ok. If you want to go further, you can slowly insert more of your finger, going as far as feels good for you.

You can also combine this with stroking your penis or vulva to increase your pleasure!

Explore different strokes

Once you are used to the feeling of having something inside your anus, you can explore different strokes to figure out what feels good for you. This could be slowly inserting and removing your finger or stroking the inside of your anus with different movements. Don’t forget to add more lube if you notice any discomfort.

Wash your hands

When you are done with anal play or you want to switch to stimulation your vulva or penis, you should give your hands a good wash to prevent any bacteria from spreading.

Advanced Anal Fingering Techniques

Once you’ve got the basics down and are enjoying your new found pleasure, there are plenty of ways to take it up a level. Here we will cover some genital specific tips, as well as some slim anal sex toys that can some new sensations!

Prostate Pleasure for Penis Owners

If you were assigned male at birth, you have a prostate. This tiny gland holds some pretty powerful pleasure and stimulating it can lead to some incredibly intense orgasms that radiate through your whole body. Some people can even experience prostate only orgasms! And the best thing is, all you need to ignite this pleasure explosion if your finger and some lube!

Follow all the steps from above to get started. Then, you are going to curl your finger towards your belly button until you feel a soft, bulge. It’s usually a couple inches inside the anus and you might feel the sensation of needing to pee — this means you’ve found the right spot.

From here, you can massage and stroke your prostate to find the right stroke for you. Some people find they can orgasm from prostate stimulation alone whereas other’s like to combine it with stroking their penis at the same time.

Advanced Anal Fingering for Vulva Owners

So those of us assigned female at birth don’t have a prostate to play with, but there are still plenty of ways to up your anal fingering game for even more of the good stuff!

Stimulate the A-spot

The A-spot is located near the top of the vagina, near the cervix, but it can also be stimulated anally. To reach this pleasure hot spot, you use your finger to massage the front wall of you rectum (towards your belly button). Some people find they can orgasm purely from a-spot stimulation, whereas others find that it really amps up their arousal, making them very wet!

Double penetration

As well as the psychological turn on of double penetration, having something in your anus and vagina at the same time creates a delicious feeling of fullness. Also the added pressure can intensify the sensations you feel in your vagina! You can explore this by inserting one finger into your anus and one into your vagina — just make sure not to switch. You might also find it easy to use a soft dildo in your vagina while you finger your anus.

How to Finger Your Partner’s Ass

So many of the practical parts concerning warm up and technique that we’ve already covered also apply here. However, fingering someone else’s ass is a very intimate experience that requires some other skills. Here’s what you should know before exploring anal fingering with a partner.

Always have their consent

Anal sex should NEVER be a surprise. It requires consent and preparation. True consent should be freely given, enthusiastic, informed, and specific. It should be something you discuss with your partner well ahead of time and both agree on trying together. That could sound like saying, ‘Hey, I think it would be really got to explore anal play together. I’ve heard that anal fingering can feel really great and would love to try it with you. What do you think about that?’

Discuss your boundaries and protection

As well as getting consent, you should discuss your boundaries. For example, you might want to explore anal play but only be comfortable with external stimulation or you might want to make sure that it’s only one finger and you want to take it very slowly.

You should also discuss whether you will be using protection and what you will use — a nitrile or latex glove is the best option here (it goes without saying, but don’t use latex if anyone has a latex allergy).

Take your time

Take things slowly and give your partner plenty of time to adjust to the new sensations. Only take things further when they are completely ready.

Communicate clearly

As you can’t feel what your partner is feeling, you need to communicate very clearly with each other. That could be asking does this feel good? Do you want me to go deeper? Do you want more or less pressure? You can also reassure them that you are enjoying the experience too!

Combine it with oral sex

I’m of the opinion that oral sex makes everything better…well a lot of things! And anal play is certainly one them! Use your finger to stimulate your partner’s anus while your mouth lavishes their penis or vulva with licks and kisses and you will give an experience they won’t be forgetting quickly! Always make sure to get their consent to oral sex first though!

Don’t forget the aftercare

Trying something new sexually tends to come with some pretty intense emotions. Not to mention, allowing someone access to your usually so well-guarded anus is an extremely vulnerable experience. Aftercare is essential for helping to recipient to navigate these emotions and helping you both connect. Spend some time cuddling, talking about the experience, and maybe bring them a drink or snack.

Transitioning from Ass Fingering to Anal Toys

If you love the feel of your finger but want to explore some new sensations, there are loads of amazing anal sex toys. But don’t worry if that sounds intimidating, there are plenty of slim options that are a similar size to your finger!

Lovehoney Classic Anal Beads

Lovehoney Classic Silicone Anal Beads 10 Inch

These small anal beads from Lovehoney are the perfect next step from your fingers. The thin beads bring rippling pleasure as you slowly move them in and out and can add some serious power to your orgasms.

Doc Johnson The Slim

The slim from Doc Johnson makes for a fantastic first time anal dildo. This slim silicone dildo measures just 1.1 inches in diameter and has a gentle curve to tease your p-spot. The smooth texture also helps it slip in effortlessly!

Lovehoney Butt Tingler 

Lovehoney Butt Tingler

Take things up a notch with some amazing anal vibrations! This beginner-friendly butt plug has 10 vibration functions to play with and makes for some fantastic hands free stimulation, leaving your hands to wander as they please.

How to Finger Your Ass Safely

As with any sexual activity, you have to keep it safe! The anus is a very delicate area and the last thing you want to do is damage it. So here are my top tips for how to finger your ass safely!

  • Wash your hands and trim your nails
  • Use protection — you can use a nitrile or latex glove or finger cot. Make sure to avoid latex if you or a partner have an allergy.
  • Use plenty of lube! Silicone lubrication is the best for anal play as it is very slippery and lasts much longer but a thick water-based lube will also work. Remember to reapply it if you start to notice any friction.
  • Go slow and listen to your body. Anal fingering can feel unusual or uncomfortable at first as your brain figures out this new sensation, but it should never be painful. If you feel pain, stop and assess the situation. You might need more lubrication, more time, or to stop completely.
  • Never switch from anal to genital stimulation as this can transfer bacteria and lead to infections.
  • Always wash your hands after — no brainer!

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